I set goals in my head, tell myself that for once I’ll
actually do them, but it never really happens. One day I was going to be a
fashion designer, the next a famous journalist, then a famous news anchor. Then
one day all my self-made dreams just didn’t seem to matter anymore. I was never good enough. I was never good
enough for someone. But the problem is, I don’t know who that someone is… is it
my parents? Is it the teachers or, or the boys in my classes? Or even the girls
who never seemed to include me?
I’ve always felt like
some sort of outsider, like I don’t have a place. I’m a puzzle piece in a
1232394795947912392309 piece puzzle that you just can’t find the right spot
for. I hide it well ya know? I’m always happy. Literally, ALWAYS. The favorite
part of my day is when I make someone laugh and it’s not actually on purpose.
Who’s out there for me? Who is my Mr. Right? Have I met him?
Does he think about me? Why am so caught up with figuring this out? I’m
eighteen years old and worried about getting married? No, that’s not me. I don’t
want to get married till I’m at least 25 and have been dating the guy for three
years and a one year engagement, I don’t want kids till three years after being
married. That’s the plan.
But life doesn’t always go as planned. And I know that. But
if I could control the simple details of my life, that’s what I would decide,
that’s what I would choose for myself.
Ooooo… what about being a script writer for a tv character?
I’m so obsessed with television shows and pretending that they’re real that I
should be good at something like that. Who knows, maybe someday that’ll be me,
and what I do.
Why not a doctor? Oh wait, I’m a lazy as son of a’ who’s not
good at putting in extra effort where needed.
